3 Keys to Serving the Socks off your Spouse!

Honey, could you please….

My husband is such a hard-working man. He works 12-hour days most of the time, has a side job and is the Lead Photographer for our photography business. I love serving my husband with a meal or surprising him with snacks he loves from the big bulk store down the road or baking him brownies just because.

But guess whose second Love Language is Acts of Service! Did you guess me? You’re right! When I see my husband cleaning or when he volunteers to move my car, my love tank starts to fill up.

Although my husband is so hard-working, we’re married and marriage is a partnership. That means that there are things we each have to do to keep the house clean, food on the table  and our lives balanced. His work doesn’t stop when he gets off of work. Going to work is just the minimum of what a husband can do to provide for his family. Going the extra mile and serving his family when he comes home is what makes a phenomenal husband and it’s the same for wives. Serving our families is another way we demonstrate love.

Whenever my husband is off from work, I send him a list of “Honey, please dos.” This is typically a list of things that need to be done that day. I haven’t always done that and would just expect him to do things and come home to them being done.

Let’s just say that never went well. Expecting your spouse to do something is never the way to go. As we’ve discussed in our live sessions, your spouse is not a mind-reader. You have to communicate.

I realized that by making a short list of things my hubby could do on his day off, he was able to get those things done easier and I was happy when I came home.

Don’t get me wrong, my husband certainly returns the favor by giving me a list of to dos when I’m off as well, but my love tank is more affected by Acts of Service.  

So if your spouse has this Love Language too, here are a few things that you can do to serve the socks off your spouse!

1. If you get criticized, keep pressing. If your spouse is critical about how you do things or what you do to demonstrate acts of service, listen and continue to serve them. This is their love language and it’s important to keep speaking it to them. Stay in for the long haul. This doesn’t mean the spouse whose language is Acts of Service should treat the spouse serving like a slave. Remember, we’re meant to speak each other’s Love Languages, not take advantage of them.
2. Get over the Gender Roles! Gary Chapman writes, “Learning to speak this love language may require some of us to reexamine our stereotypes of the roles of husbands and wives.” That’s right, serving your spouse in this capacity means that you may serve them in a way that defies the laws of gender roles. Gasp! Be open and prepared to serve your spouse regardless of whom is typically the one that fulfills that role.
3. Serve with a smile on! You know how it feels when you go into a restaurant and receive excellent customer service? It makes you feel valued as a customer, right? That’s how it feels when you serve your spouse with love and a smile on your face. Complaining about serving them is the fastest way to empty their love tank, which is the opposite of what you want to do. Wash the dishes, hang up the clothes, cook that meal and clean the bathroom with joy because not only are you being a tremendous blessing to your spouse, but you just may fill up your spouse’s tank to the point where you receive an award ; )

Bonus: Serve your spouse without them having to ask you first!

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