Everyone knows you get married because you’re in love and being in love means you can’t live without your future spouse, right?. Well….not exactly. Let’s clear something up first, love is an action, not a feeling. It’s good to understand that before you get married.
There will be nights where you have slaved over the meal you prepared for you and your husband and he decides he doesn’t want to offer to help clean up. So you’re in the kitchen cleaning after cooking. You won’t be feeling all that in love at that point.
Say you bought some red roses for your wife and she says she actually doesn’t like flowers anymore nor the color red. Still feeling in love? My point is, marriage will stretch you in ways you haven’t imagined and relying on a feeling to keep you close to your spouse isn’t beneficial.
Therefore, know that your spouse is not there to solely make you happy. He or she is there for a purpose! Yes, he or she should do things that will make you happy, but he or she shouldn’t be the source of your happiness. If your primary source of joy is God, your spouse upsetting you one day won’t lead to a divorce.
God gave Adam and Eve purpose before he even describes each of them in detail (see Genesis 1:27-28). God has a purpose for your marriage. He wants to do something amazing through your union.
I didn’t realize this until I heard a message on purpose in marriage. After hearing this message, my husband (then boyfriend/courting partner) and I started praying about our purpose as a couple. Over time, we have learned that we both have a heart for marriage amongst many other things. We wanted to inspire other young couples to see the blessing marriage can be and not see it as legal slavery as the world depicts it. A movie I watched actually described marriage that way! Can you believe that?
So what do a couple of doe-eyed lovers like yourselves do to discover the purpose of your marriage? Glad you asked! Here are a few tips from our experience:
- Talk about what God has called you to do individually and share your gifts! I know I am called to teach. Can you tell through my posts? My husband has a big heart and can encourage the socks off of someone when he feels passionate about something. We both love marriage and want to teach people to love theirs. See how God used our individual gifts to bring about a purpose through our union? He wants to do the same through your marriage!
- Pray about your purpose as a couple. God was the one who knew and create our purpose, so why not go to the Creator of the plan as a couple and ask Him to reveal it to you.
- Be open-minded. Birthing something is not easy, especially when you’re doing so with your spouse. First, remain open-minded to what God’s purpose is for your marriage. Be okay with God’s plan looking a little different than what you expected. Then, remain patient as you and your spouse work together towards the common goal.
- Read and Seek! Reading is fundamental and helpful when trying to tap into your purpose. Starting here was a great move. Go, you guys! I encourage you to keep reading other Godly marriage resources. Attending marriage conferences are super fun and have been a huge blessing for my husband and I as we have been learning more about what God has called us to do. You can never arrive when it comes to purpose and marriage, so keep gathering all of the best information you can find throughout the course of your marriage.
- Keep it on a need-to-know basis. You know when you tell people what you’re believing for and they give you their unsolicited opinion? For that reason, only inform people you trust and can help propel your marriage in the right direction as you pursue your purpose.
Did these tips help you and your spouse begin to discover your marital purpose? Share your story in the comment section!
